Nip/Tuck: Duke Collins

"Your promises are sh*t, Matt." - Sean

They really are, aren't they? Matt is pretty much full of it, most of the time. Granted he escaped death here, but when I consider his track record (white supremacists, transvestites, Scientology, foreskin removal), it's pretty safe to assume that he'll get wrapped up in something else before too long. That's why I found it so amusing when Sean apologized and Matt said he just really needed to grow up and stop being Sean's "child." Why? So he can graduate to more adult scheming? He's there already! Last I checked, you don't see too many eleven year olds cooking meth and raising a child with a former porn star. Matt has always led a screwed up life, so it's not as if any of this comes as a surprise. Fortunately, the rest of this Christmas themed episode took the torch from previous Nip/Tuck holiday installments and the results were hilarious.

Where else am I going to find a group of Christmas carolers wearing red, who get the snot beat out of them by a gang of blue clad Crips? Nip/Tuck. Or a career mall Santa Claus who lies about skipping out on his family and gets shot in the face by his son? Nip/Tuck. This is all par for the course.

Two major plots ruled the episode though. First up, the love triangle. It's plagued the show as the fall-back story since the pilot, but when it's done right, it's still good. Sean finally heard the words that he's dreaded forever. Christian and Julia are in love. He figured out they had been sleeping together and proceeded to pout as I'd expect. However, by the end of the episode he shed his Scrooge demeanor and seemed to make peace with the idea -- even though he didn't toast his drink with the love-birds. He says he's OK with it, but I know that this isn't going to die. Sean will get annoyed. Sean will get hurt. Sean will fight back.

The other big story? Eden and Julia's "reconciliation." Not so fast. Eden baked Julia a fruitcake with something special added. But what? I never found out, but Julia must've eaten half that loaf. It made her dizzy and I was hoping she'd faint by episode's end. The obvious question? Is Eden's special ingredient traceable? Julia isn't stupid. She may figure it out and realize what Eden did. It sounds terrible, but if that loaf is just sitting on the kitchen counter, then what's stopping Annie from having a piece? Something bad needs to come from this for it to really pay off.

More thoughts...

Kimber is a bitch again! Speaking of something terrible happening, Jenna is not safe with Ram and his team of porn star nannies. Something is going to happen to that poor child.

I love the character of Rachel, the Israeli burn victim who's counseling Matt. She's exactly what Matt needs, someone to prove to him that things could be much worse.

Wilber, Annie, and Connor! They're alive!

The snowman got shot by Duke's wife! Again, only on Nip/Tuck.

So... was there anything in that antique box that Sean tried to give to Matt? Or was the whole point that it was empty? So his "dreams" could fit inside?

I loved how the Hedda Grubman Cosmetic Surgery Fund still exists! I had completely forgotten about it and I'm glad that someone finally took advantage of it.