Dirty Sexy Money: The Game

No, red vests aren't the newest fashion trend; Jeremy actually became a valet on this episode of Dirty Sexy Money. While Jeremy was learning the complexities of parking cars, the rest of the Darlings were dealing with some serious drama. Dutch's death is officially a murder, and two of the most likely suspects, Tripp Darling and Simon Elder, faced off in an epic poker game.

After last episode's party fiasco, Jeremy wanted to be liked and employed on his own merits. For Jeremy, this meant working as a valet and being shot down by an incredibly hot woman in a Prius. I was impressed that Jeremy could drive at all, since he's usually chauffeured from one party to the next. How long before Jeremy gets tired of working for his former doorman? I can probably take about one more week of this storyline. Jeremy needs to accept all of the advantages and drawbacks of being a Darling if he ever wants to grow up.

I got more of Brian Light this week. Brian Jr. spent a lot of time with his Aunt Juliet, but he really wanted to bond with his dad. The more that Brian interacts with his son, the more I pity him. He doesn't even know what traditional father-son time is. Luckily, Brian still knows how to get along with his brothers. I don't remember seeing all the Darling brothers together before. The video game scene was enlightening--Patrick plans to leave the Darling Compound, and Brian thinks that his brothers get away with more bad behavior than he does. As much as I love the touching father-son scenes, I hope that Brian gets his edge back soon. His crankiness is one of the funniest things about him.

"Oops, I'm still married" is one of those problems that only exist on television. Since the plot led me to a half-naked Eddie Cibrian, I'm not inclined to complain. Just when I thought that "techno-philanthropist" was the coolest description ever, world-renowned anthropologist and People's Sexiest Man Alive Sebastian Fleet emerged (in a towel, no less). If husbands #1 and #2 are half as attractive as Sebastian, I hope I meet them soon.

Sebastian was pretty perceptive for someone who thought Dutch George was "some guy from the Netherlands." He knew that Karen always compares men to Nick, and that marriage #4 wouldn't be any different. Did Karen push up her wedding date because she knew that Sebastian and her mother were right, or is she really hoping for a fresh start? I'm starting to warm to Freddy; anyone who beatboxes while waiting in line for a marriage license is OK by me. I hope Karen doesn't break his heart.

Tripp proved his worth as a master of manipulation with the Patrick-Carmelita situation. Calling the paparazzi photo (which he commissioned) an "object lesson" was pretty cold. He even found a way to make Patrick question Carmelita's honesty when he was caught in his own lie. That guy is good. Tripp's dark side is horrifying and fascinating at the same time. It's also a bit bizarre that he views Patrick as a replacement for Kenneth. No wonder Patrick sought help from Simon Elder. Unfortunately for Patrick, I think he'll become another pawn in Simon and Tripp's game.

I was pleased that Nick appeared to pick a side and cooperated with Tripp in order to find Dutch's killer. He's up against people who are much smarter and have far more resources, and he needs an ally. Simon is definitely using Nick for his own purposes. The more that Simon talks about his "vision" for New York, the more he sounds like some super-villain. Even his laugh during the poker game sounded evil. It was great to see Blair Underwood and Donald Sutherland shoot menacing looks across the table at one another. Tripp needed an archenemy who could challenge him, and Simon fills that void nicely.

Tripp's intentions for Nick blew me away. I wonder if his desire to leave the empire to Nick (and his declaration of love) has anything to do with the mysterious DNA test results? Was it just another way to bind Nick to the family? Finally, who is behind the NTSB report cover-up and Norman Exley's murder?

My favorite lines of the episode:

• "I've always had this uncanny ability to just chill." --Jeremy, on his special talents.
• "Darling Pharmaceuticals...let's skip this one." --Nick, listing Jeremy's potential employers.
• "I'm a vehicular ninja." --Jeremy, moments before he crashes a car.
• "He activates my yoni." --Karen, on the gorgeous Sebastian Fleet.
• "A watch? He can't even tell time." --Brian, on Juliet's $30,000 gift to Brian Jr.