Nip/Tuck: Kyle Ainge

"Mommy's not coming back because Daddy killed her." - Christian

Um... wow. I'm never going to a Build-A-Bear Workshop ever again. I'll come back to that later, but let's touch on the theme of this episode first: cannibalism. There's a topic that Nip/Tuck hasn't tackled before and they didn't hold back either. From the teacher who bites her Kindergarten students, to the metaphors of Hollywood agents eating you alive, to the newlywed couple that actually... ate each other, all the bases were covered. Who's hungry?

First off, let's talk about Kyle Ainge and his wife. Disgusting story, but it was still touching. It was sad really. Trapped in a ravine for ten days after a wrong turn on their skiing honeymoon, Kyle fed his hypoglycemic wife chunks of his own flesh to keep her alive. It actually sounds like something I'd read about on the news and I'm sure there have been similar incidents reported.

But then it got twisted and during his surgery recovery, the wife fed the husband some her own flesh to make them even? Equals? Really sickening if I think about. I think she was a little loopy. It never occurred to her that her flesh was raw and he had cooked his using the lighter from an overturned car in the ravine. This was only five minutes into the show. My jaw was on the floor. Plus, the two surgeries were extremely graphic during this episode and every commercial break ended with the "viewer discretion advised" announcement. That says it all right there.

Moving on to Colleen... As I correctly speculated, she's a nut. She's not really an agent, doesn't live in a mansion, and has an obsession with hand made teddy bears. I think the thing that surprises me most is how trusting and naïve Sean is. I know the whole point is that he's the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Hollywood newbie and as such he shouldn't know any better, but c'mon - he is definitely smarter than this.

How come he's never asked to see her office? Isn't it somewhat odd that Colleen had never heard of CAA? ("What's Caw?") She's clearly just an obsessive and delusional fan. As if there wasn't proof enough, she killed Sean's agent-to-be Bob from CAA with one of those machines that fills teddy bears with plush animal stuffing. That was disturbing to say the least. And how come whenever I see her, the theme music from The Exorcist plays?

More thoughts...

No Julia? With the way her story has progressed, I found that odd. She's slowly dying, right?

How funny was Gina's funeral? One big sexaholics meeting where everyone recalled what great blow-jobs, hand-jobs, and rim-jobs she gave. It was sad to meet the guy that gave her AIDS though. My one question? She met all these people in Miami, right? They all traveled to LA for the funeral service? Seemed a little weird to me.

The teacher who bites her students had one of the funniest lines in the history of this show when Christian asked if he could maybe donate something like a jungle-gym to the school to avoid any lawsuits: "I was hoping you could provide something else to climb on." Hilarious. (I can't believe she had her teeth ground down and capped!)