Dirty Sexy Money: Pilot

Dirty Sexy Money was finally watched and I love it! While it has been listed as a drama, the show's premiere featured many hilarious moments. The Darlings actually remind me of the Bluth family from Arrested Development. Both families are wealthy and full of self-involved people who say the most outrageous things. "Well, you're poor!" has officially become my new comeback. Let's not waste any more time, though. Meet the Darlings:

Patrick "Tripp" Darling III - Tripp is the head of the family and the former employer of Devlin "Dutch" George, the deceased father of the show's central character, Nick George. Tripp happens to be one of the richest men in New York City, and he knows how to rock a moustache. Following the mysterious death of Devlin George, Tripp asks Nick to take his father's place as the family attorney. Tripp trusts Nick's sense of morality, and is aware that his family cannot be handled by just any lawyer. He even considered Bill Clinton and Johnny Cochran (before he found out he had died already) for the job before settling on Nick.

Tripp is extremely devoted to his wife, Letitia. The couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with a lavish and highly eventful party (more on that later). While husband and wife appeared to be very much in love, their bond might not be as close as we thought. Apparently Letitia was carrying on a long-term affair with Devlin George, which Tripp may or may not be aware of. After all, the man is no saint himself. Tripp suspiciously helicoptered to the site of the wreckage from Devlin's plane crash, and was very interested in the briefcase the police recovered. Could he be behind the murder?

Letitia Darling - As the loving mother of the Darling family, Letitia has her work cut out for her. When she isn't planning glamorous parties, she's hurling vases onto the floor to get her children's attention. I got a glimpse of her tender side when she was consoling Juliet after a disastrous rehearsal. At first I thought that Letitia would be a bit dull when compared with the Darling children, but then the secret about the affair was introduced. Perhaps the affair contributed to the collapse of Nick's parents' marriage?

Patrick Darling - Husband and father, Attorney General of New York, aspiring politician, lover of transsexuals, Patrick is a true renaissance man. He obviously has a good grasp of the law, but morality is another story. I enjoyed the revelation that Devlin George broke up with at least seven of Patrick's girlfriends for him. Patrick hoped to ditch his current mistress, Carmelita, using Nick as a messenger, but no dice. When Nick passed on the job, Patrick's weakness kept him from ripping off the band-aid.

Karen Darling - What a wonderful, lovesick ditz her character turned out to be! Karen has no trouble in showing her affection for Nick, even in front of her soon-to-be-husband. Karen might be carrying a torch for Nick, but that hasn't stopped her from getting married several times. She's now preparing for marriage number four to Freddy, a dense professional golfer more interested in Karen's money than her heart.

Brian Darling - This guy is one hard-core bastard. He also happens to be an Episcopalian minister. Brian's big secret is that he has an illegitimate son that his baby-mama just stuck him with. He's also high on the list of suspects in the death of Devlin George. Apparently Brian has been giving money from the Darling Family Foundation to an airplane mechanic; quite a coincidence. All of my favorite scenes had Brian in them, and all of his lines were deliciously nasty.

Juliet Darling - A socialite/wanna-be actress, Juliet declared her independence from the family by having the maids pack her things and move out. During her parents' anniversary party, she attempted suicide by prescription drug overdose after she learned that her father has funded all of her plays. Luckily for Juliet, she couldn't keep most of the pills down. She's a pretty one-dimensional character right now, but that doesn't mean I can't have a good laugh or two at her expense.

Jeremy Darling - When he's not hung over or partying at Ethan Hawke's house, Jeremy might be the most sympathetic Darling. He cares a great deal about his father's opinion, and views Nick as the older brother he never had (except for those two other guys). At first I thought Jeremy was just going to be a male version of Juliet, but he surprised me with some depth and understanding (but not too much). And hey, anyone who buys his parents a Breeders' Cup-winning horse for their anniversary is OK by me.

Nick George - Not an actual part of the family, but firmly embedded in their scandals, breakdowns, and secrets. His reluctance to take the job as the family's attorney lasted for about five minutes, around the time that he asked for ten million dollars a year. Unlike the Darlings, Nick is actually in touch with reality. He has a plucky assistant, Daisy, who found the perfect ringtone for each Darling, a wife named Lisa, and an adorable daughter named Kiki.

Despite his resolve to be nothing like his father, Nick began to show similarities to Devlin in only two weeks, forgetting to pick his daughter up and getting caught kissing Karen Darling (on the cheek). He may not have the time to perform all the charitable deeds that he envisioned, but Nick is dead-set on finding his father's killer. He'll likely have a tough time of it, though. The guy couldn't talk his way into his own father's funeral, but hopefully he'll catch on.

The show reminds me a bit more of a primetime soap opera than a drama, but who cares about labels. Dirty Sexy Money is witty, wicked fun. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of the season is as entertaining as the pilot.

Quotable Darling moments:

• "Playing blind is really fun." -- Juliet, on her role in Wait Until Dark.
• "I'm sorry Grandpa's dead." -- Rev. Brian, to Nick's daughter, Kiki.
• "OK Captain Jeremy, Captain Jeremy OK." -- The illegal aliens on Jeremy's new yacht.
• Juliet: "I want to be a human being." Letitia: "And someday you'll be one."
• Nick: "30,000 people die of starvation each day." Jeremy: "Yeah, but out of 7 billion people..."
• "Did my wife just come by here: short hair, black gown, pissed?" Nick George
• "You do it, he's your girlfriend...she?" Nick, refusing to do Patrick's dirty work.
• "Space is freakin' coming apart. True story." Jeremy Darling, on the collapse of the cosmos.