"In cooking, as in all the arts, simplicity is a sign of perfection." - Curnonsky

Monday, June 9, 2008

CSI: The Theory of Everything

Lions and tigers and bears and deer dressed in tutus and killer squirrels and dead cats and that's just the animals! There was also people going up in flames, humans masquerading as Vulcans, and heads exploding. And if that isn't enough, the MythBusters guest star.

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It opens with a woman dressed in tin foil shouting about “them” in the CSI lobby. The woman, Evelyn, warns Nick to watch out for things tonight. He would do well to listen to her advice.But he doesn't. He's too busy trying to give a Breathalyzer test to the suspect Brass is interrogating. The suspect, a very, very drunk man, is insisting that they got things all wrong. The “thing” that they got wrong is the dead deer dressed in a tutu in the coroner's office. A tutu? The poor deer was shot by our suspect's crossbow. The suspect flees the interrogation room, knocks a cop through a window, gets pepper sprayed, shot with a stun gun, and then actually goes up in flames!

The CSIs test the stun gun, the shirt, and the pepper spray, but none of these items alone or in combination create a human torch. They add the moonshine they found in the suspect's truck, but that also doesn't help. After they review the tape of the incident, they realize that the suspect touched Evelyn before he went up in flames. Cue an Evelyn manhunt that ends quickly when they discover her dead.

She was run over by a trucker who was blinded by her tin foil suit. A search of her body reveals that she was carrying a cracked butane lighter, which could have been enough to create the flames. Oh, they also find that Evelyn's blood was green. Yes, green. Green like Spock from Star Trek. After Wendy and Hodges geek out over why Spock's blood is green on Star Trek (Wendy wins the geek prize, BTW), they discover that Evelyn was not a Vulcan, which saddened me, but instead had incredibly high levels of sulphur in her body.

Before they can figure out why Evelyn's blood is green, they find another body, Wayne. Wayne was killed by blunt force trauma to the head. He also had green blood. Meanwhile, Grissom and the crew figure out that flaming guy was killed by flammable pepper spray. The cop who sprayed him was using non-department issue pepper spray. Nick retests, with the MythBusters in attendance, and indeed, the new pepper spray recreates the flames. The MythBusters give Nick two thumbs up. Heh.

The CSIs use fingerprints found at the scene of Wayne's death to find Dave Bohr. They pay him a visit only to discover that he's bleeding green blood from his nose. One of the cops opens a window to let in the sunlight and Dave's head explodes! It turns out that all three of the green-blood victims were suffering from migraines. They were taking incredibly high doses of a drug supplied by Dave. This drug turned their blood green. Dave killed Wayne during a drug bust gone wrong.

Case closed, except for the the death of an elderly couple who died in holding each other in bed. Aw. Not so sweet, however, is the large number of dead ground squirrels in their backyard. They find a rodent removal system, Atomic Dave's Painless Removals, in the backyard and wonder if that is what caused the deaths of the couple and the squirrels.

Warrick goes to talk to their neighbor who says that she was working in her studio making jewelry. When the tox screen and Hodges nose discover that the squirrels and couple where killed by high doses of cyanide, the neighbor becomes a suspect. She explains that she uses cyanide in her jewelry work and to occasionally, accidentally, poison ground squirrels and her neighbors' cat. She insists that she's not a murderer of people though. I also find out that her ex-husband was the man who went up in flames at the station and that Dave supplied her neighbors with the rodent removal system.

Coincidence? Not if I ask Grissom, who decides that it might just be string theory at work—the theory of everything so to speak.

But who killed the elderly couple? Catherine discovers that it was actually the squirrels. Yep. The animals finally get some revenge in this episode. A squirrel, probably running from the “painless” atomic removal system, chewed through a wire under the house, setting old carpet underneath the couple's bed on fire. When the carpet burned, cyanide was released. Catherine pronounces it self-defense. I have to agree.

The Good -I think Brass had the best lines this evening. Telling the cop to stun the suspect by saying “Light him up”. And referring to Evelyn as “very shiny”.The insights into Hodges home life. He's finally moving out of his parents house!

The Bad - Okay, they didn't explain why the deer was wearing a tutu. How do you get a tutu on a live deer anyway?

The Science - They had me at the green blood. I'm such a Star Trek geek.

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