Lost: Tricia Tanaka Is Dead

A Hurley episode. A happy episode. A let's-all-ride-around-in-a-VW-van-and-not-further-the-story episode.

THE CHEECH! A young boy -- with a familiar head full of curly hair but an unfamiliar skinny frame -- was inspecting a car’s engine, when the Cheech Marin approaches, keys in hand. He gives them to the kid to start the car. Quite certain the car needed a new carburetor, the kid didn’t think it’d work.

Cheech, ever the optimist, must’ve been a member of The Secret cult with all his positive thinking: “Having hope is not stupid! You’ve got to believe! Make your own luck!” And what do you know? The kid turned the ignition, and it worked. Always trust Cheech, man.

Sadly, Cheech couldn’t stay. He gave “Hugo” (Hugo = Hurley… was that supposed to be a surprise?) a candy bar, hoped on his motorcycle and headed to Vegas, where Chong was most likely waiting to film Up in Smoke.

Back on the island, Hurley fills dead Libby in on the island goings-on and tells Charlie that he probably is going to die when Vincent, Walt’s dog, runs up with an arm in his mouth. The arm’s got a key…

WE COULD ALL USE SOME FUN - After winning the lottery, Hurley bought a Mr. Cluck’s Chicken Shack. Obviously. A perky reporter was there to interview him. Her name? Tricia Tanaka. You can imagine what happens to her… When she goes inside the chicken shack, a meteor -- or was it an asteroid? a bird? a plane, maybe? no, that already happened -- hits it. Tricia Tanaka’s dead.

So, back to the arm with a key… Hurley discovers an overturned Volkswagon and eagerly tries to enlist volunteers to help him get the car in motion. No one sees the point. “We can all use some fun!” (I swear, Hurley looked at the camera when he said that.) Still, no one sees the point. Except Jin. But that’s because he doesn’t speak English.

Meanwhile, Kate and Sawyer make it back to camp, and way too many unrecognizable people (the island must be a ferry stop or something) come to welcome them home.

Sawyer, angry his stash has been raided, goes looking for revenge, but all he finds is a very happy Hurley, along with Roger, Work Man -- the VW’s Dharma skeleton with a years-old stash of beer. Jin, Hurley and Sawyer (because of the beer) try to fix the car, to no avail. Then, Sawyer throws back a few with good pal Rog. Finally, Hurley sees a hill and sees the light at last. Charlie, looking death squarely in the face, calls shotgun. Badass.

THE CHEECH! RETURNS! Hurley’s mom thought all that “curse” talk was because of a lack of a father figure, so Cheech (aka Mr. Reyes) returns home after 17 years. Hurley, however, is dead set on returning to Australia to settle the score with those blasted numbers once and for all, but he can’t deny the powerful words of his pops: “We make our own luck.”

Inside the VW, Hurley and Charlie careen down the hill, and what do you know? He popped the clutch and made his own luck. Full circle, baby.

Meanwhile, as Kate’s trekking through the jungle, she realizes she’s being tracked -- two torches tend to give that impression -- and Sayid and Locke emerge from the jungle. They implore as to why Kate won’t let them help. “You don’t know where to look, and you’re not motivated?” Uh, Locke used his legs as a door stop for a steel trapdoor so he could read the glow-in-the-dark Dharma map, he concocted a crazy paste in a hut to help him find Eko, he punched numbers into a computer every 108 minutes for no earthly known reason, and -- oh yeah -- he managed to cure his own paralysis! How much more motivated does he have to be?!

Before they could discuss it, the French woman shot up the place. Kate asked if she’d help her find the Others’ camp. Why, Frenchie asks. “There was a girl, about 16. Her name was Alex. I think she’s your daughter.”

AND I’M STILL LOST: So, I'd love to assume Hurley just broke the curse by riding around in a VW, Little Miss Sunshine style, but that would mean that this episode actually moved the story along. It can't be that easy, can it?

And what’s with the dart Sawyer stepped on near the beach? And what’s with Sawyer glancing at some topographic maps of the island before tossing them aside for a Dharma-issued brewskie?